Thursday, 4 December 2008

Drifting toward the precipice.

I have dropped, suddenly, into a deep low.

I’m not good at life. Hey, I’m a writer; I’m supposed to be a mess of neuroses.

And right now… You know that bit in films when people are happily drifting in a boat and begin to realize that the noise they hear might just be a waterfall. When they try to start the motor, you just know it’s not going to work.

That’s how I feel, just now. Don’t know why. I’ve done all I can with Charlie and need to start sending samples out to agents. Ah. There’s your answer. Complete lack of confidence. Two years hard graft and 106,000 words of crap to show for it with absolutely no guarantee it is going to sell.

“In the current climate…” Blah, blah, blah.

The blah, blah, blah is me trying to start the motor. And the roar is getting louder.

Some days you wonder why you bothered crawling out from under the duvet.

:-) That is a brave smile. It’s the last thing you’ll see as the boat goes over the falls.


Lane said...

I won't hear the word 'crap' and 'Charlie' in the same sentence, thank you very much!

I hear you though Graeme. I'm not at the sending out stage yet but I'm certainly not looking forward to learning/playing the system and the waiting game. But you gotta do it. For Charlie's sake:-)

Graeme K Talboys said...

Aw, bless. Thanks.

It's just that I have now reached the hurdle where I have always fallen before with my fiction (well, apart from the one that got published by the company that then went bust). I know there are other routes to go beyond this, but just for once it would be good to go the orthodox route.

Thanks for the boost.

I'll get that list of agents out again.

Ali said...

Yeah, but even when the boat gets all smashed up, somehow the hero always manages to miss the rocks. :)

Graeme K Talboys said...

Hey, thanks. I hadn't thought of that. It really is good to have friends.

Caryn Caldwell said...

Oh, best of luck to you! I'm in the same boat (no pun intended!) in that I'm about to send out some queries, too. Wishing you the best, with a quick acceptance and sale.

Graeme K Talboys said...

Many thanks, Caryn. And fingers crossed for you as well.

JJ said...

I'm sorry to hear your feel down Graeme. I haven't got close to where you are now, but I do know the one thing everyone says that is true that does make a difference, and that's perseverance.

Chin up. And good luck.

Anne Brooke said...

Hugs & love, and just go for it, my dear. Once the first batch is sent out, then start that new novel ...


Graeme K Talboys said...

JJ: Many thanks. I suspect it is post writing blues. I know the book could do with some more work, but for now it is time to rest from it and send it into the outside world.

Anne: And of course, the cure for post writing blues, as you rightly point out, is to get writing again.

Zinnia Cyclamen said...

Awww, hugs. And: don't give up.

Graeme K Talboys said...

Thanks, Zinnia. The first batch has gone out now. Eeek.

Vague said...

Never mind the blah, blah, blah motor! Staple that duvet cover to the mast and catch a thermal on the way down.
Started on Charlie the Next yet? Hmmm?

Graeme K Talboys said...

Finished TMA 02 yet?

Actually, I'm taking a few days out to get my filofax up to date, tidy my desk, sort out a couple of non-fiction proposals, read some books, catch up on movies, life, that sort of thing. Charlie can have me back after Christmas.

CarriKP said...

Hi Grum
Definitely NOT carp!!

Good luck with Charlie. Sorry to hear that apparently you're no longer on First Class - you'll be missed! Good that there are still your blogs.


Graeme K Talboys said...

Aw. Thanks, ever so.

Hmm. They were mighty prompt in shutting me out of the playground, but I won't be far.